Tuesday, November 29, 2011

BLACK FRIDAY

Black Friday - an allegory
(click on image to see full-size)


Thursday, November 10, 2011

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR SEX SCANDAL

I have been watching people handle sex scandals wrong for years. I have seen a few people handle them correctly, but those are the ones you don't remember because they blew over in about a week and were immediately forgotten.  I have never had a sex scandal (or a career) myself but somehow I know exactly what to do to avoid looking like an idiot and blowing your entire career, and I am putting this in writing now in the hope that some day someone will put it to good use.

Don't deny anything, and especially don't deny everything. Once you tell your story you have to stick with it and if you say you never did anything wrong in your entire life you are screwed. Wait until you know what they are saying before you shoot your mouth off.  Don't start confessing because you will come out with something nobody remembers except you. If you did it, admit it.  Show that you know now that it was the wrong thing to do, that you are sorry you did it and you won't do it again. Don't blame anyone or get angry. Don't address specifics because people love to list other folks' sins and they never forget them. Don't overdo it, and start crying and begging for forgiveness because desperate people are funny and pathetic. Admit that you are human and make mistakes but that you learn from your mistakes, that you were in circumstances that made you think that it was a good idea to do what you did but you know now that you were mistaken and if that situation ever recurs you will not do what you did. Then shut up about it forever. That is really all there is to it.