We have seen some pretty good stuff lately like Shadows In Paradise (1986), an earlier Kaurismaaki film which was kind of talky - meaning it had like one third as much dialog as a normal movie instead of one tenth. We watched Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for Xmas and Donna agreed with my assessment that it is witty, colorful and inventive, and fun to watch. Then for new years we watched a double feature on TV of the Danny Kaye movie Wonder Man, which mostly caused me to sigh in dismay except for the great technicolor costumes, followed by Your Past Is Showing (originally The Naked Truth) - a 1957 British comedy starring Peter Sellers and Terry-Thomas which had all the laughs missing from Wonder Man and more. We laughed all the way through. It was a nutty story, very Wodehouseian in that there were lots of people plotting at cross-purposes and ruining each other's complex plans. VERY VERY FUNNY.
What I really want to do here though is bitch about BEE MOVIE. The Jerry Seinfeld Dreamworks animated Bee Movie. When the only quote on the front of the box is from Gene Shalit, LOOK OUT. This damn thing was conceptually wrong from before the credits were done rolling. They show a shelf with six shoes - bee shoes. Then another shelf of six shoes and a shelf of stacks of six socks - because bees have six legs. Then they show the bee, which has TWO ARMS AND TWO LEGS. Bees can fly, so they fly TO THEIR LITTLE BEE CARS which they then drive around in. There is a trial scene, with a jury that exists only for the characters to make speeches at because the judge just RENDERS A DECISION and ends the trial, with the jury doing NOTHING AT ALL. The main character can barely keep up with a taxi cab in one scene, but in another scene about a million bees can fly as fast as a jet airliner. If bees don't pollinate plants it makes them SHRIVEL UP AND TURN GREY because pollen is some kind of miracle powder that if you sprinkle it on a dead tree IT COMES BACK TO LIFE. Flower pollen, on a tree - the LEAVES of a tree. You'd think at some point in the creative process somebody who has fundamental basic knowledge would have stepped up and said DUBYA TEE EFF, MAN! Seriously, FOR GODS SAKE. It took me four sittings to get through this damn thing and I love cartoons. Love them. Would rather watch a cartoon than anything. Absolutely appalling. 0/10
