Elderly Woman Crashes Car Into Hair Salon

Salem Oregon, Feb. 25 2011: "A 78-year-old Salem woman stepped on the wrong pedal and crashed her Thunderbird into a hair salon Friday morning."

Plainfield Township Michigan, April 4 2010: "An elderly Michigan woman who accidentally crashed her car into a hair salon while attempting to park said she stuck around the scene to keep her appointment."

Rogersville Tennesee, April 2 2010: "Two people were injured Friday morning in Rogersville when an elderly motorist on her way to a hair appointment drove her Honda Accord through the front of a hair salon on Apple Lane off of East Main Street."

Milford Connecticut, Feb. 4 2011: "An elderly woman drove her car into the strip mall at Pond Point Plaza, but walked away with no visible injuries. The unidentified woman smashed her white Nissan Sentra into a store for lease next to the hair salon at the plaza around noon." ALMOST!

Tigard Oregon, December 10 2008: "An elderly woman accidentally crashed her car into a Tigard hair salon Tuesday morning, injuring three people inside."

Annapolis Maryland, September 6 2009: "Besides the smoke, the squealing tires and the shattered glass, an elderly woman's sudden car crash into an Annapolis-area beauty salon yesterday afternoon was nothing short of remarkable."

Sanford Florida, December 22 2010: "An elderly woman crashed into a downtown Sanford hair salon and then into a restaurant Wednesday, according to police. "

Phoenix Arizona, March 3 2009: "An elderly woman crashed her car through the front door of a west Phoenix hair salon Tuesday morning."

Ventura County California, January 30 2009: "A woman drover her car into a Newbury Park beauty salon Friday afternoon, narrowly missing a group of patrons and employees before crashing into the back wall."

Orleans Massachusetts, May 21 2009: " Four people were hurt when an elderly woman crashed her car into a salon Thursday morning at the ProCuts on Route 6A in Orleans."

Leicestershire England, June 4 2010: "Beauty salon staff and customers avoided injury when an elderly driver smashed her car through the shop front. The confused motorist ploughed through the double doors and plate glass window of Jackie Walker Hair and Beauty in Biggin Street, Loughborough, narrowly missing people inside."

British Columbia, Canada, December 7 2010:"Police said driver confusion sent a vehicle through the front window of a local business in Ladysmith Monday afternoon, while people were inside the building."

Wilton Manners Florida, December 1 2010: "Police have cited a driver who crashed into a hair salon after she hit the gas instead of the brakes."

Bethesda Maryland, October 24 2010: "Investigators are working to determine the circumstances leading to an accident in which an elderly driver struck a parked car before plowing into Alexis Hair Salon."

Tallahassee Florida, September 23 2010: "It happened at Salon Centric on Thomasville Road at about 11:30 a.m. Police say 73-year-old Virginia Hart mistakenly hit the gas instead of the brake and her Honda Pilot lurched forward."

Movies

Black Moon (1934) Voodoo thriller - a woman is mystically drawn back to her island birthplace to take her place as white voodoo queen. Interesting to me was the fact that the leaders of the creole-speaking natives are depicted with a certain threatening dignity, while the Georgia-born "good darkie" (Clarence Muse, who rarely had an opportunity to show his real talents) is an unfortunate stereotype. As these things often do, the story is turned into a symbolic victory of christianity over paganism. The mass voodoo ritual scenes suffer greatly from not having been shot at night. Cast includes Fay Wray in her dark haired mode, cute but not a great actress. A good try but not a real success. 4/10

Kentucky Kernels (1934) Comedy duo Wheeler and Woolsey are guardians to orphaned Spanky McFarland, who falls heir to a Kentucky feud. Sometimes it is funny, and there is a song. 5/10

I Thank You (1941) British comedy duo Arthur Askey and Richard Murdoch, trying to get financing for a show, must take a job as a husband and wife footman and cook. Wartime references include sleeping on subway platforms, unavailability of foodstuffs, and firespotting from rooftops, and many of the supporting players are probably recognizable to those with a greater knowledge of the British music hall. Sometimes it is funny and there are songs. 5/10

Johnny Cool (1963) Henry Silva stars as a Sicilian bandit recruited by a deported Italo-american gangster to enact his vengeance. Wide-eyed and beautiful Elizabeth Montgomery is an aimless socialite awakened to the realities of life by her brief encounter with this dispassionately violent man. At times startling and fierce in its action and imagery, it seems to have been a break from drivel and trivia by producer/director William Asher, and it shows where his real strengths were - not here. A sophisticated, not always believable story with numerous flashy cameos including an uncharacteristically threatening appearance by affable John McGiver. Many of the cameos, like Mort Sahl's, have a "Look who's here!" feel, and it is easy to see who is a real actor and who isn't. Kind of great in certain ways, and overall an interesting and unusual experience. 7/10

Movies

Tamara Drewe (2010) Superior dramedy showing the complex interactions of a diverse group of well-realized characters. I don't recall seeing reviews for a U.S. release, maybe because it would have little appeal to the car chase, shootout and explosion demographic. I picked it for Family Movie Night specifically because I saw stills of people sitting around a laden table, talking - it's one of those, but never bogs down with prolonged scenes of someone walking and thinking, or sitting and thinking, the way they sometimes do. I attribute its superiority to the fact that the source material and screenplay were both written by women, who probably never once felt the urge to make it more exciting by having someone point a pistol at another person. Lots of good intelligent laughs and believable circumstances. It's also nice to see email and cellphones as plot devices occasionally, mired as I often am in the archaic and fantastic. Well worth seeking out. 9/10

The Falcon Strikes Back (1943) This is part of my continuing program of seeing movies based on popular radio shows, or upon which radio shows were based. I don't expect them to be very good, and they rarely are. Tom Conway is The Falcon, and supporting characters include Harriet Hilliard, Cliff Edwards, and Edgar Kennedy. There are a number of rationing-related gags - all you had to do was say rubber or meat and it was a joke. 4/10

Movies

The Phantom Thief (1946) Chester Morris is Boston Blackie in this flat backlot timefiller. This is what they had before they had television. 3/10

The Tourist (2010) The critics were so harsh with this I felt I ought to see it. Uniformly good acting and high quality presentation, beautifully filmed, yet it attains a level of absurdity and ridiculousness in the story that had me chortling repeatedly. It got so stupid that I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Good stupid. Fun because it is so dumb. Johnny Depp is always appealing but Angelina Jolie is one weird looking chick. 7/10

Movies

Le gendarme de Saint-Tropez (1964) The first of what was apparently an extremely popular series of French comedies starring Louis de Funes as the titular gendarme. I only made it through about half an hour of this primitive uninteresting comedy. I was trying to figure out what exactly is the appeal of de Funes and it is beyond me. I think I have done my duty in this regard and feel no obligation to seek out his work - in fact I will probably avoid him in the future. This movie is simplistic pratfall slapstick - literally so because he falls on his butt in the middle of the road for no reason in the very first scene; a comedy of embarrassment, frustration and anger, lacking any sort of dynamic timing or imaginative staging. 1/10

Movies

Two Weeks to Live (1943) The first movie based on the Lum and Abner radio show. Bet you didn't even know there were any. One of them inherits a worthless railroad and mistakenly thinks he has only two weeks to live so they look for dangerous jobs to make ten thousand dollars to pay back the townfolk who invested in the railroad. Includes Franklin Pangborn, a gorilla suit and a rocket to Mars. Aimless but kind of funny sometimes. 5/10

Comme un cheveu sur la soupe (1957) stars Louis de Funes, who still has a pretty good head of hair, as a composer of popular songs who is a failure in love and life. He tries to kill himself, or find someone to kill him, and has no luck until he becomes famous and successful overnight, then the people who said they wouldn't kill him change their minds. Ridiculous slapstick, including utterly needless "pie in the face" and "stack of dishes" gags, ending with a huge brawl. But, there is a cute girl (Nadine Tallier) singing a couple of good songs, and it's so absurd I had to laugh in spite of myself. 5/10

Movies

The Man and the Monster (1958) In this Mexican-made monster story, a man sells his soul to Satan to become the world's greatest pianist. The catch is, every time he plays the piano he transforms into a stupid looking lump-nosed monster like a fuzzy-faced were-pig. This shows how devious Satan really is, because being a cool looking monster wouldn't be so bad, but being both horrible looking and stupid looking at the same time is a real curse, believe me, because I know. It's a flat, formulaic story but what is apparent from the very first scene is that this movie is beautifully made, with artistically composed deep-focus scenes lit in intense expressionistic chiaroscuro. It's one of the most visually appealing movies I have seen in quite a while and my eyes were very very happy to be watching it. Story 3/10, execution, 8/10.

Miss London Ltd. (1943) is a very rare thing - a British musical comedy. There are lots of great British comedies with songs added, but this is a unified production in the American style with songs integrated into the action and dialog, imaginatively staged. It stars Arthur Askey and American singer and comic actress Evelyn Dall, with musical support from Anne Shelton, another outstanding performer. Who cares what the story is, it's sharply written, fast and funny with lots of good songs and dancing. See or download it here - it's worth it. 8/10

Family Movie Night

After many trials and tribulations with a digital file we ended up watching a dollar DVD off the bookshelf. Lovers and Liars (1979) was directed by Mario Monicelli, and stars Goldie Hawn and Giancarlo Giannini. It seems completely trivial at first, and doesn't follow common story conventions of presenting a problem and following through to a solution - instead it is a eurostyle character study of two completely opposite people thrown together by whim and trying to find common ground. She's a stereotypically American '70s open and honest free spirit, he's an old fashioned Italian lustful louse who'd rather concoct an atrocious deception than come out with the simple truth about anything. It's loaded with local color and cultural detail, being shot mostly on location in distinctively Italian locales, but not that kind of "golden sunset in Tuscany" lyrical crap. Maybe I am nuts but I found it to be significantly better and more sophisticated in concept and execution than most movies I have ever seen, and I think it should be more widely known. 8/10

Movies

The Week In Review - I have fallen behind in meticulously chronicling every damn thing I see, which I know is a real disappointment to my two or three occasional readers. I will here catch up.

Four Sided Triangle (1953) is a nice British example of genuine Science Fiction packaged as a mainstream melodrama. The science aspect is the creation of a matter duplicator, the human problem addressed is two scientists but only one girl. What could go wrong? Slightly ridiculous concept but very nicely done. 6/10

Zombie and the Ghost Train (1991) is a Finnish film by Mika Kaurismaaki, less stylized than the work of younger brother Aki. Not a story that solves a problem, it follows the decline of an aimless fringe character (Zombie) following his encounter with a mysterious rock band with lots of gigs, but which nobody has heard (The Ghost Train). Interesting to see, if you need to see a kind of Euro-art film. 6/10

The Ghost Train (1941) is quite the opposite, a British wartime light mystery thriller at a haunted railway station, with halfpint comic Arthur Askey there to keep everyone in a constant state of irritation. (If anyone who ever reads this has the slightest idea who Big Hearted Arthur Askey and Richard "Stinker" Murdoch are, leave a comment so I will not feel so terribly alone.) I will just tell you right now because you will never see this movie, that if it is wartime and there are ghosts, it is Nazis. 4/10

The Secret of the Telegian (1960) Japanese thriller in which a teleportation device is used to effect vengeance. Seems kind of pointless since the guy ends up in prolonged foot-chases after every bayonet murder anyway. So why not just drive. Kind of boring. 3/10

Lotosbluten fur Miss Quon (1967) Is a slow, cheap, German-made unthrilling thriller set somewhere in Asia, involving diamonds. Also kind of boring. My IMDB review is the first and only one. See that for more details. 3/10

From Hell it Came (1957) Dying man's curse + radiation = TABONGA, the walking tree monster. One of those monsters it is nearly impossible to escape from because they walk so slowly. Nice "monster carrying a woman" scenes, and there is quicksand as well. I liked how someone would come running into the village saying they saw Tabonga, and someone would say "Are you SURE it was Tabonga?" like there are all these other walking tree monsters out there. Also, the blonde female scientist who gets carried by Tabonga is one of the worst screamers I have ever heard, a harsh grating AAAAKH AAAAKH scream, not the clear piercing EEEEEE so necessary to a good monster scream. Almost stupid enough not to be boring but still pretty boring. 5/10

Made it halfway through the 1961 Edgar G. Ulmer version of L'Atlantide, Journey Beneath the Desert, and it amazes me that one can make something like the discovery of a lost civilization so damn tedious. Big colorful cheesy Italian sets and soundtrack do not enliven it much. 1/10

Family Movie Night

Last Saturday we watched Shutter Island (2010) and I was impressed again, this time by how different it all seems the second time. As sometimes happens with "Ken movies," Donna didn't seem to be enjoying it at all for the first half, but it finally got to her by the end. Last night it was time to watch Becky Sharp (1935), based on a play which edits Vanity Fair down to about a dozen of its best scenes. When I read the book I found that all the sections dealing with the ostensible protagonist were a sort of payment for getting to read the parts about the fascinating monster of avarice and self-interest Becky Sharp, and this just deletes all the payment and gives nothing but the reward. This was the first full-length Technicolor film and it is sometimes used to striking effect. Much as I like Miriam Hopkins, I felt she overacted horrifically throughout the film, flinging herself around dramatically in a continuous state of ecstasy or despair, sincere or feigned. I prefer her under more restraint, and somewhat older. Nigel Bruce was ridiculously Nigel-Bruceian and the best part of the experience for me. It's not entirely a good movie, but I consider it an important one and worth seeing once or twice - this was twice for me. I rate it 7/10

Movies

Messalina vs. the Son of Hercules (1964) One of a whole bunch of similar movies dubbed and repackaged for the anglophone market with a Sons of Hercules theme song, this was directed by Umberto Lenzi who according to my theory got so sick of filming battle scenes with no blood at all that he spent the rest of his career making the grisliest and most appalling stuff he possibly could. Lisa Gastoni as Messalina is always good to look at but this was formulaic and tedious tripe, which I watched just to rest my brain a little. 3/10

Lisa Gastoni as Messalina. Historical interest.

The Crowd Roars (1932) Jimmy Cagney is a race car driver who loses his nerve when he causes his chum Frank McHugh to be horribly burned alive in a terrible accident. Will he get it back in time to win the Indianapolis 500 or not? A racing movie from back when they didn't even have seatbelts - pretty terrible to see at times. I don't care much for racing movies really but I will watch anything pre-war with Joan Blondell in it. Anything. 5/10

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