Movies

I can't think of a movie I have seen lately that was as stupid as Steelyard Blues (1973), and I tend to seek out stupid movies. A movie like Private Snuffy Smith or Queen Kong is lousy, horrible and half-assed in any number of ways, but they all seem excusable compared to the intense stupidity of Steelyard Blues. Donald Sutherland is a guy who is supposed to be cool because he is such a jerk and loser, and is defacto head of a bunch of other unlovable losers who can't play by society's rules and they band together to fix up an old seaplane to fly off to "a place where there ain't no jails." I have never been drunk, stoned and brain damaged enough all at one time to think this movie is not the stupidest thing I can remember seeing since I don't know when. I guess it is probably on permanent rotation in the DVD player at any number of biker clubhouses and other establishments where gather folks who dream of facing down a hundred flashing police cars and going out in a blaze of glory and I thank god I never go places like that or know that sort of people. I got this with some early Jane Fonda movies and she is the only woman in the movie, so of course she is a hundred dollar hooker. Stupid. The only redeeming feature was getting to see Howard Hesseman as the strait-laced brother beating the crap out of Sutherland. I wanted to see all those jerks get beat up the whole time. 2/10

Yeah, that's right. STRAIT laced.