Movies

That Riviera Touch (1966) British comedy duo Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise head for the Riviera for fun in the sun. The story is a mere contrivance to put them into conventionally comedic situations; creeping around an Old Dark House, being mistaken for someone else and chased by International Jewel Thieves, plummeting down a winding mountain road in a car with no brakes, etc. Anybody could have done this. A waste of their talents. Prolonged extreme closeups of underdeveloped bikini babes do not improve the situation. 4/10

Movies

Havana Widows (1933) Gold-digging duo Joan Blondell and Glenda Farrell head for Havana to hook a couple of millionaires. Things don't go as planned. Comedy relief amply provided by Guy Kibbee, Allan Jenkins and a perpetually intoxicated Frank McHugh. The real interest to me was fantastically luscious Blondell, and the remarkable clothes she was squeezed into. She jogs, strides and bounces around in negligee and a delightful knit pantsuit, and poses in suggestive traveling and formal attire which emphasize her natural charms to a remarkable degree. For the Blondell-lover this is pretty hot stuff. Glenda Farrell, with fewer curves, is given amazingly huge collars of all varieties. The hats are uniformly nifty as well. Otherwise, the dialogue is smart and peppy, it's short enough not to get tiring, and Lyle Talbot is not offensive as Blondell's eventual beau. Not entirely clean fun but good fun. 9/10

I love this gown with its invisible top and floating shoulders.

Movies

Turned Out Nice Again (1941) George Formby is familiar to generations of Britons, yet almost completely unknown in the backward U.S.A., and this is the first opportunity I have had to enjoy one of his movies. George is a shop foreman in an underwear factory and must deal with the clash between old and new ways both at home and on the job. His personality is rather like that of Arthur Lake's Dagwood in the Blondie movies - a good-hearted goof who stumbles into success in the end. Along the way he sings a few cheerful tunes in his reedy tenor, accompanied by his banjo-uke. This is from past the mid-point of his 20+ year film career, and I shall certainly be seeing more of him in the future. This film brought to mind two aspects of the British character which may always be a mystery to me - Lancashire as a comedic nexus, and the passion for keeping pigeons. A perfectly harmless and quite enjoyable time. I especially enjoyed the fact that not a single frame of film was shot outdoors - some of the soundstage "exterior" sets were tiny scenes about the size of my bedroom, obviously unreal, adding to the fantasy element of the picture. 8/10

George Formby and Peggy Bryan

Movies

The Intelligence Men (1965) Spy spoof starring British comedy duo Morecambe and Wise, directed by Robert Asher who also directed the best Norman Wisdom films. Balding, bespectacled Eric Morecambe and diminutive, sandy-haired Ernie Wise are a pair of nitwits who become embroiled in international espionage and quite naturally end up onstage in a performance of swan lake, dressed as Egyptians. I have recently been enjoying their 1970s TV and radio comedy/variety programs, which are a slightly better outlet for their talents than this. Still there were some very amusing moments amid the chasing around. 6/10

Help! (1965) The Beatles pretend to perform some songs, act silly, get chased around. Not the worst Richard Lester movie they were in. I always like Eleanor Bron and Leo McKern. Thanks to Dave Humphries for the reminder. 6/10

Movies

Ikarie XB 1 (1963) Czechoslovakian science fiction, one of the few serious SF films of that era, and in my opinion the best. A shorter dubbed version with a nonsensical trick ending was released in the U.S. which tainted the western view of this film - happily I remained ignorant of it until about a week ago. While the story is not its strong point, it doesn't consist of the same cliches as almost all other Space Mission movies. It's a 22nd century Space Expedition story in which the first space flight to Alpha Centauri is undertaken, rather episodic and dragging at points with various difficulties and conflicts arising, but the look and feel of it is what makes this so great. Amazing design is intended to look as unlike 20th century technology as possible, and every scene is an amazing pictorial composition. I was saying WOW all the way through it, just from the visual impact and originality of the images. A true classic of SF cinema, which I would rate among the very best. 9.5/10

Movies

Immortel (2004) Written and directed by French cartoonist Enki Bilal, a 3DCG animated film with main roles played by live actors. Like his comics it is elaborately fantastic and intensely detailed with a complex and indescribable story. Something about the god Horus coming out of a floating pyramid over future New York to impregnate a non-human woman with the spawn of the gods. Looked like it was going to be amazingly great, but turned out to be kind of tiresome and vague. 4/10

Motorama (1991) Unique magical realist fantasy hero's journey/road movie. In an alternate reality that resembles the American West, a ten year old boy in a red Mustang drives from one Chimera gas station to another trying to accumulate all the game cards that spell MOTORAMA, to win the grand prize. Along the way he loses an eye, is forcibly tattooed, his hair turns grey, and he encounters cameo appearances by the likes of Jan Murray,Mary Woronov, Michael J. Pollard, Garrett Morris, Meatloaf, Drew Barrymore and Dick Miller. Not the sort of thing you would expect to be the vehicle for metaphysical philosophy but I believe that a correct understanding of this movie could result in mystical enlightenment. 8/10

Movies

Mister 880 (1950) Thank you, Donna, for reminding me that I had not written this up. Just about the most heartwarming story of crime and counterfeiting you will ever see. Based on a true story, about an old man in New York City who supplemented his income by passing one or two crudely designed counterfeit one dollar bills every day. His systematic and offbeat approach kept him from being captured for some ten years. I had been wanting to see this for quite a while, having read of it in one of the many compendia of crimes, rogues and scoundrels on the shelves here at the Kooks Museum. Young, wavy-haired Burt Lancaster won't give in until he captures lovable kindly Edmund Gwenn. Dorothy McGuire plays The Girl but for some reason she has always passed instantly from my memory. You can have Miracle on 34th Street, this is better and you don't have to wait until December to watch it. All-around good fun for everyone. 10/10

Movies

Ghost Story of the Snow Woman [Kaidan Yuki Jorou] (1968) Chilling costume folk-tale beautifully presented. A beautiful Snow Woman kills everyone who sees her, until she falls in love with one of her prospective victims whom she spares if he vows never to speak of his experience. She takes human form and he marries her, not knowing her true nature. Very slow and formal without a lot of cheap shock, which makes her icy silent threat all the more wonderful. A lovely, sad and beautiful romantic ghost story. 9/10

The Informant! (2009) A Donna movie. Entertaining story based on fact, of an eccentric whistle-blower in corporate America. I am not a Soderbergh fan at all, and the protagonist's voice-over meanderings occasionally became distracting, even irritating, but I see that it did a lot to establish his scramble-minded character. It's a strong story, and the production values were excellent. 7/10

Movies

Flame (1975) Rock and roll rise and fall story, starring Slade. I come from a position of complete ignorance about Slade, and though I have never been fully reconciled to the grating tenor vocals of that type of band I found it overall believable and entertaining. Lots of gritty lower-class locales, and a visit to the pirate radio station on the sea forts in the Thames estuary is always a plus. It seems to have been made with the assumption that the audience was fairly intelligent. Thanks to Urania 235 for the recommendation. 8/10

The Cool Mikado (1963) A no-budget modernization of Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta. A bad idea poorly executed, though poorly doesn't capture the amateurish and inept quality of it all. Jazzed-up renditions of a few of the songs are just an excuse for a series of creaky vaudeville routines on unbelievably cheap and crappy sets. I was unsure about watching this until I read that comic Frankie Howerd claimed it was the only thing in his career of which he was truly ashamed, though he might have said that before Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was filmed. American comedian Stubby Kaye singing a re-written version of the one about letting the punishment fit the crime (I am as ignorant of G&S as I am about Slade) was the high point of the experience. The overall weirdness might be rationalized in that it is presented as a fantastic story being told in a framing sequence, but that concept is abandoned and never closed at the end of the film. For the badfilm fan, this is a gem but in the greater scheme of things, 2/10

Movies

Press for Time (1966) Norman Wisdom gets job with small town newspaper, creates chaos. It's clear that he is just past his prime here - maybe it's the color that makes the archaic schtick seem so unfunny. The one superior sequence involves getting his bicycle hooked on a chandelier - the rest is inconsequential chasing around and pointless destruction. I have now seen all the major Norman Wisdom films readily available, and can recommend On the Beat and A Stitch In Time as the best of the lot. This I have to give a weak 5.5/10

The World's Greatest Sinner (1962) Bizarre and blasphemous amateur film by Timothy Carey, a genuine weirdo. Salesman quits job, slacks off; creates new religious cult and antimusic band, runs for president, challenges God. The SubGenius movie has already been made. 5/10

I made two earnest attempts to get through Doomsday (2008) a dreadful British video-game of a movie. Action Chick with robot eye has 48 hours to go into walled-off Scotland and steal the Virus Cure from the Road Warrior psychos. Couldn't get half way through it. After the total collapse of society I think people will have other things to do besides work on their purple mohawks and design scary looking weapons. The kind of movie where a guy with a stick sees a guy with a machine gun and runs toward him screaming, but it's supposed to be serious. 0/10

Movies

Gulliver's Travels Beyond the Moon (1965) A beggar boy is hit by a truck and while he lies unconscious in the gutter has a psychedelic trip-out where he goes into outer space with Doctor Gulliver in the doctor's rocket ship, along with a windup toy soldier and talking dog and crow. Japanese animation going for a European look, dubbed in English with new songs of the type where a chorus of children sing about happiness. Lots of harping throughout the film on "hope" and the necessity of having it without ever explaining what it is or why it is good. Visually interesting, especially when they get to the robot planet. Excellent "Rise, robots rise!" musical number. Cinematic in-joke; in an earth-city scene, a delivery truck has written on the side "La salaire de la peur," - the wages of fear. Fairly entertaining and a perfect double feature with Pinocchio in Outer Space. 6/10

I Killed Einstein, Gentlemen (1970) Czechoslovakian time travel farce. Radiation from G-bomb tests has made women grow beards and unable to bear children. The only way to prevent it is to travel back in time and insure that Einstein is not saved from being killed by a falling chandelier. It doesn't go as planned. Deliberately ridiculous throughout and moderately amusing. I appreciated that they gave Einstein an exceptionally stupid laugh. Good production values and quite imaginative. 7/10

Movies

Burlesk Queen (1977) Gritty Filipino melodrama. Its star, Vilma Santos, later became a city mayor and is now a provincial governor. Very interesting to me for its scenes of barrio streets and snippets of variety acts on the stage. They seem to have been addressing the same issues as in the US 20 years earlier - attempts to shut down burlesque houses on moral grounds, with the theatre owner defending it as a true artform of the common people who are shut out of elitist amusements like opera and the symphony. Addresses some pretty serious life issues for the main character including her paralyzed self-pitying father and her unwanted pregnancy. Film skills displayed are a cut above the average, and some of the grimmest and most tragic backstage events are unnervingly intercut with the primitive gaiety of the onstage performances. I can't really recommend it as an entertainment, but I found it highly educational. 6/10

Z.P.G. (1972) I had read Max Ehrlich's novel The Edict and was looking forward to seeing this movie based on it - there was even a poster up at a local cinema - but somehow it never appeared. I later learned that its distribution was blocked by a reproductive rights organization of the same name. Now I have seen it. Highly unrealistic and imaginative dystopia in which people stand around in the dense smog listening to continuous public announcements, and their only form of amusement seems to be the museum of how life used to be before the Population Disaster ruined everything. So there is plenty of time to get all the explaining in that the audience needs to hear. People who violate the anti-breeding law are dragged to the nearest execution square and a helicopter flies in a plastic dome and drops it over them so they slowly suffocate. Entertaining sequences of a deranged mob screaming BABY! BABY! and hauling the little family to its dome of doom. Of course the protagonists are depicted as heroic for persisting in their criminality because babies are always good no matter how they ruin everyone else's life. I really liked the restaurant scenes with synthetic food in tubes and little bottles. Pretty ridiculous, but I am happy to have seen it at last. 5/10

Movies

Garuda (2004) I thought a Thai monster movie might be interesting but I was wrong. The intense mediocrity of every part of the production was startling. Every shot is made unconvincing by identically formulaic horizontal lighting which has no relation to situation or circumstances - yellow light from the front quarter, blue-white backlight on the other side. No actors were involved, just one college age girl and a lot of macho poseurs who look like gay underwear models. Looks like one of the cheaper U.S. TV crime shows where they stand around a table with a light inside it looking at a bone, only for fourteen year old boys. Sixteen year old boys would have required the girl to at least get wet. Plot consisted entirely of cliches treated as if they were major emotional moments. Mid-sized CG flying monster. Half an hour was all I could watch. 1/10 for educational value only.

Movies

Tomorrow I Will Wake Up and Scald Myself With Tea (1977) Czechoslovakian time travel comedy. In the near future, time rockets take people on trips to view historical periods and events. A group of Nazis, kept young by rejuvenation pills, plot to hijack a time rocket and take a stolen miniature hydrogen bomb to Hitler so he will win the war. It would succeed except that the scoundrelly pilot who was in on the scheme choked to death on his breakfast roll and his identical twin brother, a mild-mannered engineer who designed the time rockets, envious of his brother's thrilling lifestyle, pretends it was himself who died and takes his brother's place as pilot. Then it gets complicated. The usual going back and trying to fix things ensues. A low-key, witty and inventive story, and a unique approach to the time travel film. Deserves to be more widely known. 8/10

Recent Viewing

The Square Peg (1959) Norman Wisdom in a war comedy. Having wandered far behind German lines, Norman Pitkin discovers he looks just like a Nazi general. Didn't seem very funny to me at any point, and one of the poorest of his films in my estimation. No songs or romance. 4/10

On the Beat (1963) Norman Pitkin just wants to be a policeman like his late father - the only trouble is, he is half a man physically and a quarter of a man mentally. All you need to know about Norman Pitkin is explained in the photo below. Luckily it is discovered that he looks exactly like an effeminate Italian hairdresser who runs a beauty parlor as a front for a ring of jewel thieves, assuring him a position on the force, and requiring him to have to learn how to swan around like a flaming nellie. This seemed so much better than The Square Peg, with genuine wit and recognizably outstanding comedic timing. In a notable sequence he attempts to bluff his way through a medical exam while on stilts. One of the best of his films in my estimation. No song but it ends with a wedding. 8/10

The Man Called Flintstone (1966) Spy farce in which Fred Flintstone finds he looks just like Rock Slag, secret agent and man of action. Inconsequential chasing around interrupted by occasional and mostly irrelevant songs, including one by Louis Prima. I liked it a lot better in 1966, though a couple of the songs get pretty tripped out. Not bad, but not great either. 5/10

Norman... Is That You? (1976) Though there is a Norman in this movie, nobody looks exactly like someone else. Redd Foxx's wife (Pearl Bailey) ran off to mexico with his brother/business partner, and now he learns his son is gay. Overall a witty and intelligent story, based on a stage play, and the first to my knowledge to favorably depict an interracial gay couple on the screen. In fact, the race card is never overtly played, and I wonder if it was a factor in the original play. Not a very well-structured story, with a number of scenes that appear to have been stuck in for padding, but in general quite funny and entertaining. The show is stolen by Dennis Dugan as Norman's unflappable cute little boyfriend. Wayland Flowers and Madam also appear. 8/10

Movies

Mission Stardust a.k.a. ...4 ...3 ...2 ...1 ...morte (1967) Offbeat Italian SF film based on the popular European Perry Rhodan series. Lunar mission finds broken-down alien spaceship with sick alien aboard, and the only doctor that can cure his leukemia is in Africa. Very primitive effects with model spacecraft swinging and wobbling around, and film-scratches for raygun beams. Essy Persson as the stern spaceship captain appears in a zany and inexplicable breast-puff jumpsuit. Better than not watching a science fiction movie. 5/10

Movies

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) This is a perfect example of an idea so incredibly stupid that it goes all the way around the circle and becomes insanely brilliant. So stupid at times that I was howling with glee. So brilliant at times that I was dumbfounded. Some of the most atrocious and some of the finest renditions of Beatles songs I have ever witnessed somehow balance each other out. George Burns' version of Fixing a Hole is the exact antithesis of Aerosmith's version of Come Together, both equally amazing but in opposite ways. Frankie Howerd's version of When I'm 64 is unique in all creation. Plus - a hot air balloon chase, a roller-skating pantomime horse, and a wheelbarrow full of money; any one of which is necessary for true cinematic excellence, all in one movie. There is no connection between this movie and reality and that is what I like. Thanks to Liz Bass for suggesting this unforgettable pleasure/pain. 8/10

Movies

Speed Racer (2008) For two hours I thought this was one of the stupidest movies ever made. Then for the last seven minutes I thought it was one of the greatest movies ever made. Not a good ratio. 3/10

Movies

Storm Warning (1951) Outstanding Ku Klux Klan thriller starring Ginger Rogers, Doris Day and Ronald Reagan. Rogers stops in a small town to visit kid sister Day and witnesses a Klan murder, soon learning that one of the killers is her brother-in-law. Reagan is the prosecuting attorney who just needs to get her to stop trying to protect her sister and say what she saw. At the time, racial equality was a far more dangerous topic than the Klan, and they get through it by presenting it as gangsterism and a moneymaking scheme for the leaders with little said that can be stretched to imply the Negro Question. As Donna said, this is the Hollywood South where nobody has a southern accent - I was surprised they even put African Americans in the crowd scenes but they sure didn't let any of them speak. Despite the alternate universe approach this is a stirringly atmospheric and threatening depiction of insular small-town life and the spectacular finale in which Rogers is dragged before the Klavern and whipped at the foot of the flaming cross is amazing. This is the best serious acting I have ever seen her do, and Steve Cochran deserves recognition as the moronic lout of a brother-in-law whose idiocy screws things up for the Klan every step of the way. 8/10

The Early Bird (1965) Norman Wisdom is the sole milkman for a one-horse dairy, under attack by a soulless corporation. No songs or love interest here, just vast destruction accompanied by relentless repetitive symphonic Comedy Music. There is a remarkable sequence in which he accidentally destroys the extensive garden, the greenhouse and the Rolls Royce belonging to the manager of the rival dairy, all while being dragged behind a runaway lawn mower - much of it being done with models. There is a golf sequence and an extended fireman bit at the end which gets tiring. Some really funny bits balance it out. Moderately amusing. 6/10

Movies

Good Times (1967) The Sonny and Cher movie. Sonny has ten days to come up with a movie script or they will be forced to use the script provided by their nemesis, Mister Mordicus, played by George Sanders. Most of the movie consists of Sonny's dopey fantasies about what kind of genre film he would like to be in - western, jungle, detective - and there are songs performed. You'd think a name like Mordicus would be a tipoff from the start not to do business with the guy. Really more of a Sonny movie with Cher just tagging along. I'm afraid this is not the best thing William Friedkin ever directed. In fact it is probably the worst. I liked the first musical number, mainly because it was super-colorful with a pop art motif, but the rest of it I could do without. 4/10

Mansion of the Ghost Cat (1958) Directed by Nobuo Nakagawa. Atmospheric spooky Multigenerational Curse thriller. Murder, rape, suicide, possession, multiple ghostly apparitions, and bloody vengeance. Modern day framing sequence is in bluish monochrome, while the period backstory is in color. Scenes are beautifully and artfully contrived with a fluid camera when necessary but not a lot of whirling around for its own sake, and masterful use of shadow. The bizarre cat-hag's distance manipulation of one of her victims becomes an eerie death dance. A slow pendulum-like swing heightens the conflict over a game of go to a remarkable level of tension. Maximum threat is drawn out of every crash of lightning. Nakagawa also directed the amazing Jigoku, one of the best Hell movies in human history. I have been hoping for quite a while to see some of the Japanese ghost and horror films of the '50s, but it seems the gangster stuff is more popular. Modern technology now makes it possible for me to fulfill this desire and I am extremely pleased with the result. 9/10

Movies

The Brain Eaters (1958) Short, concise, no-budget Brain Parasite film. A little bit of imaginative staging and direction, and some genuinely bizarre and creative plot elements. A large spiral cone of impenetrable metal appears, from which come the Brain Parasites that stick their prongs in your neck and drive you around like a volkswagen. If you try to take them off they inject acid into your spinal cord that dissolves your nerves so once you are caught you're screwed. But they are NOT from outer space. Leonard Nemoy (sic) is nearly unrecognizable in cowl and flowing white beard but his unmistakable voice speaks the will of the group mind. Clear allegory of the cold war fear of invasion, brainwashing, and loss of individuality. Really quite good for what they had to work with. 7/10

Movies

Tora-san Our Lovable Tramp (1969) Originally titled It's Tough Being a Man. First installment of the decades-long 48 film Tora-san series, a Japanese treatment of the Cantinflas/Norman Wisdom character - a lower-class boob who skewers the foibles of the upper class, gets drunk and ruins everything, gets in fights with the neighbors, wrecks his sister's marriage prospects, falls in love with a woman hopelessly out of his league and weeps bitter tears in his loneliness. Considerably more realist and sentimental than the Mexican and British equivalents, with a touch of genuine tragedy in his continuous social disasters. Glad I finally saw a Tora-san movie after wanting to for thirty years or so since I first heard of them, but I don't feel the need to keep seeing more. A part of my cultural education. 7/10

Spice World (1997) The Spice Girls movie. There's this big show and it looks like they might not make it there in time! And there are these guys! And stuff happens, and they sing some songs and stuff! Before I saw this I didn't know anything about the Spice Girls, not even what their hit songs were or which girl was which and how they differed from each other. I just thought they were a sort of slightly more skilled Bananarama which shows you when I stopped paying attention. Now I have seen this movie. Fairly entertaining at times. Now I am wondering, having seen an '80s one (Can't Stop the Music) and a '90s one (this) what the 00's one of these is going to be that I will have to see. I hope it's not Hannah Montana. 6/10

Movies

Can't Stop the Music (1980) The Village People's faux Origin Story. My friend Seth uses this movie to torture people with, but has never actually watched it all. I wanted to prove what a macho hotshot I am by sitting through the whole thing, and believe me it was a challenge. I had to do it in pieces over a few days. It's amazing to see a whole movie with not one moment of acting in it. This is an exercise in masochism. Steve Guttenberg as the composer and "inventor" of the Village People is sheer agony to watch - a dopey puppy in human form, with a constant goofball glee and astonishment at everything, punctuated by occasional moments of feebly feigned sorrow at minor setbacks. On the whole I have never seen so much poorly faked enthusiasm from so many non-actors. The Construction Worker's solo performance of Love You To Death pushes the pain factor to the absolute limit, but the rest of the movie is like a continuous beating with a telephone directory - one dull thud after another. The worst part of all is when there are jokes and people being funny. Ghastly and horrendous to see - worst thing I have experienced since Supertrain. My next target: Spice World! 2/10

Movies

Trog (1970) Joan Crawford's last film - a nonsensical missing link tale. What really impressed me was how clear it was that she was the best actor in the film. She handed a wind-up doll to a guy in a gorilla mask with the same sincerity that she would have put into Lady Macbeth washing the blood off her hands. I was also delighted with how bizarre the story got - after showing the zillion-year-old troglodyte a slide show of dinosaur bones he goes into a great stop-motion dinosaur flashback which somehow gives him the ability to squeak out a few vague words. Michael Gough really gnaws the hell out of the scenery as the Reactionary Opponent of science and reason. 8/10 for Crawford - a pro to the end, 3/10 for the rest of it.

Graffiti Bridge (1990) Prince's sequel to Purple Rain, written by Prince, directed by Prince, starring Prince, music by Prince. It's a Prince movie. Kind of idiotic to the point of near-greatness. So pompous and inane it's almost pretty cool. I always liked Morris Day and The Time better than Prince, and they nearly penetrate my hard outer shell of a thousand generations of White Man to find the tiny flake of Funk hidden deep within. Lots of bright colors and drifting smoke, filmed mostly on a big street corner soundstage set that looks like a trenchcoat cyborg is just about to start shooting it up with his big metal arm-gun, striking sparks off every whirling ventilation fan in sight. Not as lame as Under the Cherry Moon, but then what is? Prince proves that it takes a real man to look totally gay. Really makes me want to see Good Times, the Sonny and Cher movie, again. 6/10

Movies

Man of the Moment (1955) Norman Wisdom, inept file clerk, incapacitates delegate to international conference in Geneva and must take his place. Because he knows nothing of politics and accidentally votes for something everyone else was against, he becomes the focus of an international diplomatic conflict, is granted a knighthood, and is chased through a television studio in which numerous and diverse programs are in production. Three songs are sung as well. 7/10

Movies

The Island (2005) Now I know what "A Michael Bay Film" means. This is like Logans' Run only they are clones and when they Win the Lottery and get to go to The Island it means they are really going to be harvested. Then they escape from the city and find out that everything they thought was true isn't really true at all!!!! The Good Guys, three year old clones educated to the level of a fifteen year old is what they say in the movie, can evade the most highly trained hunter-killers on earth, get shot at a million times and fall off a 70 story building and only get a little scratch on the forehead. If you like to see people running while yelling GO GO GO!! and lots of "really cool" car crashes, lots of stuff getting blown up and crashing down and people yelling RUN, RUN!! and hitting other people with wrenches and lots and lots of shooting from helicopters and cars and trucks and jet bikes, and you like a movie that half of it is just a video game with a permanent techno drum solo soundtrack and every other shot is a tracking orbiting crane shot then you will like this movie and you are an idiot. 4/10 and that's just because about 40 percent of it was actually kind of cool, just the other 60 percent was for teenage boys. Stupid ones. Another director for my shit list.

Movies

The Long Good Friday (1980) Bob Hoskins plays a "legitimate businessman" about to put over a huge real-estate development deal when members of his "corporation" start getting stabbed to death and blown up. Maintains the sort of quiet tension that makes you feel that something terrible is about to happen and often it does. An outstanding depiction of a man at the peak of power whose support is crumbling away and a top classic modern gangster film. Super extra bonus is the visit to a British DEMOLITION DERBY, in which the winner is driven around the track on a bright yellow batmobile. 9/10

Battle in Outer Space (1959) Toho's grand space spectacle - flying saucers are attacking the Earth and two spaceships are sent to destroy their lunar base. First class model work - the prominent destruction of a Cinerama theatre by the alien anti-gravity ray made me wonder/laugh - it was filmed in Tohoscope, but this print was cropped for TV. Considering the time period, and in comparison to US science fiction film of that year, this is way over the top. Plot is quite predictable, but the bright colors and moving shapes kept me riveted. 8/10

Movies

I've Got Your Number (1934) Joan Blondell in telephone-related activities. Pat O'Brien is the obnoxious jerk who won't give up until he saves her from the gangsters and wins her "hand." Allen Jenkins and Eugene Pallette support. Good opening montage, interesting to see the entirely mechanical workings of the telephone system with banks of clicking relays. Nothing really outstanding except the unbelievably cute Blondell. I'd watch anything with her in it from this period. 6/10

Movies

Mickey One (1965) Donna wanted to see this because her grandmother's second husband is the cafeteria owner who has two lines. A modernistic kind of thing that is not so much about the story as about something else. Elliptical dialog, strange things to see. I did enjoy seeing one of Tinguely's self-destroying art machines in action, and the big car crushing machinery. I guess if you think about it there is a lot going on in this movie underneath the vagueness and inconclusive events. Kind of the same deal as a Cassavetes film. If I watched it two or three more times I would probably become a bug on the subject and be talking about Mickey One all the time and telling everybody they HAVE to see it and it is the greatest movie ever made. I just have all kinds of space monster movies I need to get watched. 6/10

Movies

Eolomea (1972) East German science fiction. Spaceships are disappearing and it doesn't add up. Top scientist seems to know more than he is telling. Determined effort to make an intelligent and realistic space movie - interesting but never exciting. Imaginary and flashback sequences abruptly appear, as well as short bursts of abstract spacey blob effects which seem like a bit of an afterthought, which make it a bit more challenging to follow. Obligatory malfunctioning robot. One area in which the socialist states were more advanced than the Free World was in gender and racial equity, at least in film - the protagonist is female and she is never forced into submission by threats of a good spanking, and numerous people of color appear albeit in tertiary roles. A good try. 5/10

Movies

Trouble In Store (1953) Stockroom clerk Norman Wisdom creates havoc in the department store, smashing crockery in a display window, setting himself on fire at a company banquet, singing two sentimental melodies, foiling a robbery and getting the girl. There is a prolonged chase on roller skates, and bicycles are crushed by large trucks. Apparently they thought that simply having him do something stupid and then riotously laugh about it would be funny enough. I don't think he had hit his stride yet. 6/10

Movies

Children of the Damned (1964) Disconnected sequel to Village of the Damned, a more thoughtful contemporary political allegory. It loses much of the power and clarity of the original by adding moral ambiguity, and sympathy for the powerful mutant children. Strangely, it doesn't try to make any kind of connection with the story of the previous film. Though it suffers by comparison it is still fairly good on its own. 6/10